I've already accepted an offer and gotten one for more money. Both contract. Desperately underemployed...how should I handle this?

updated; I talked to their talent associate.

The company I want said this could last 2 wks to 2 months. Pretty fucking infuriating. My recruiter gave me no more info than that and tried to convince me it could go permanent.

I used to hate interviewing for temp shitty jobs, hate having to interview my direct manager...but now I appreciate it gives me a feel for a company.

Context - for three years, I cannot get offers except temp.

It creates a horrible cycle of short term assignments that come far and few between; my experience is undervalued. For the first time in my life I was allowed to work at one company for ten months.

I have been out of work for three and the longer one is out of work, of course, the worse it is.

I got an offer yesterday for a company paying under 20 with one of the staffing agencies that's employed me most in the past. I already submitted to the background check. I am doing the urine test today.

In other words...I don't know, redditors, is that like an offer? It feels like it. I've signed nothing. No one gives me anything to sign in these roles.

I am terrified of severing a relationship or fucking up and spoiling the opportunity to start one with people who will pay me more. These people call once and when I return six months later - they're gone. They don't answer emails.

The first job pays less but I actually spoke to the person that I would be reporting to.

Second job - different staffing agency that has yet to find anything for me - 3/more per hour...24 more per day, that much more per week. (Shit, that's a lot of money.) Little job description. Company I would much rather work for.

No timeline was given for either.

I have worked for startups in the past and been hired on a team and realize now they frequently are not good experiences or decide they do not need me after a phone interview, after seeing my resume.

Am I a shitheel for asking a recruiter to send my resume in for offer 2 after accepting shitty offer 1? I feel like one. She was so angry. I can't blame her and I'm angry at myself now for even asking she submit my resume when I was hesitating.

I lied and said I had just been given offer 1. I'll admit it, it's not easy to stick to one's guns when everything in front of you looks like shit, and some how, the well is dry at the same time - for long periods of time.

I want either job for different reasons and mistrust both.

I'm so tempted just to take the higher-per-hour one if it meant six months of work. It'd look better.

I told the job 2 recruiter I just got offer 1 and she was so pissed and I don't blame her and I...fuck.

I hate pissing off recruiters even though it's not like there's any loyalty here either.

I'm dependent on them. These are companies that will not open my applications when I submit directly.

I trapped myself.

I'm fucking furiously angry and not sure what to do now.

The fact I spoke to the person I reported to and he sounded like he would be a reasonable boss makes this feel so much worse.

All of this is treacherous and humiliating and either way I am burning a bridge to work I desperately need.

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