I've worked 1 year out of the last 10. not sure how to deal with this in an interview and during conversations in the future?

I have thought about making this post often recently. I'm not sure what I'm hoping to gain from writing this. mostly because sometimes I will be going about the day and wonder how many people are in a similar position. I know many others struggle with finding and keeping a job. but whenever I read other people's story, they have been out of work for a few months. maybe a year or two. my parents give me money each month for food. my parents have a small house that I live in alone. with my cat. I turned 33 years old last November.

I got laid off from a job in February 2009. I lost my apartment and girlfriend all around the same time and have never really recovered I guess. in 2014 I worked almost exactly for 1 year as a pizza delivery driver. I have no friends that I see and have not been out with a friend or done any socializing since about the middle of 2016. I have been seeing a counselor for the last few months but it feels pretty pointless. I've spent most of the last 6 years numbing the pain and loneliness by smoking weed. but that has come to an end for the last couple of months. my only interaction with other people is through my phone where I text one friend mainly, an ex girlfriend. and another friend I talk to through my computer. the rest of my interactions come from trying to make friends through wow, but I barely play anymore. no one has even heard my voice because I refuse to use a mic. if one of my friends ever asks me to do something, I make an excuse and don't. it's been almost 3 years since I've seen a friend.

I've been applying to jobs and hope if I can build a routine, that it will in turn start to build some confidence. I've spent a lot of time listening and reading self help topics. I know what I need to do but most of the time everything feels worthless. like there is no point to clean or do anything i should be doing. because there are no friends. over the years I have had months of heavy, consistent exercise. I eat pretty well, take vitamins and supplements. I've taken an anti depressant for about 5 or 6 years. but I've realized I am my own worst enemy. all of my choices usually are the opposite of what I should choose in order to get me out of this. each day has been the same for the last 3 years. sometimes it is very scary when I think about where I am and where I may end up when I'm older. likely alone and even scarier... maybe homeless. I think about killing myself often these days. it feels like I can't take care of myself. but I have in the past. I don't know anymore. thank you for taking the time to listen.

am I supposed to find help through some program? i also don't know how to handle this subject when it comes to an interview. I feel like all I want to do is work and be a great employee but it feels overwhelming to tell someone this. to tell them I haven't worked in so long and what the last 10 years have been like.

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