I have been fortunate enough to secure a job in IT whilst I was studying at university, which last month I finally graduated. I have friends on my course who haven't heard back from any interviews and I have managed to start my career super early on which I'm so thankful and grateful for.
In the company over the 6 months I have been there I have been promoted and now earn roughly £30k per year in the North of the UK which for 6 months out of university is generally unheard of, which has allowed me and my partner to move out, and I have more money than I have ever had in my life, earning more than my parents ever have done, so as you can imagine this conversation always always circles back to the money bags.
I have been having a really rough time mentally, I'm in a junior position but the senior left when I took the promotion, leaving me essentially on my own with no guidance in charge of a network in a business thats entire income is network dependant, every day I'm treading water as if I get stuck nobody can answer my questions, and more often then not I'm finding myself saying I don't know just yet, I've never seen this before, Im a junior as a way to deflate expectations, but Im starting to feel like people think I'm just an idiot now.
I also really do not enjoy being around the people in the office, they always make jokes at my behest and make me feel really small, and dismiss my input into conversations to the point that I come home and I reflect that what is the point even talking, I get labels stuck to my chair, my stuff generally fucked around with, and dragged into conversations by people across the office to belittle or give me a load of shit under the guise of banter.
Most days after finishing work I find myself zoned out in the car home constantly replaying situations in my head, or generally being negative about myself in one way or another, to the point that I literally have no concentration on what I'm doing, almost mentally vapid, I'm there but the lights aren't on, and the longer this goes on the more bad days I seem to be having then good.
But again, the career development opportunity and the financial side are almost too good, I don't think i could get this opportunity again, but I really can tell that I'm close to having a mental breakdown
What would you guys do?
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