I’ve been rejected for an internship at a top game publisher last week and for a full time game dev job in Seattle this week. I feel like my heart is giving out. I try so hard but no one believes in me.
I don’t have dream job. I don’t think of any such things like a perfect job. I’m a realist and I try to manage my expectations so I don’t end up disappointed. I’ve been trying to get a job since may last year as I was finishing grad school. I see my peers get hired for internships and jobs. Not me. I see linkedin. I see who’s getting hired. I get interviews though. I smile and try my best to seem competent. Sometimes the interviews go well. Sometimes they don‘t, but I try.
I think of the full time job I left to pursue grad school and change careers. I think of all I left behind so I could do what I love. Now it seems like a mistake. I should have kept my head down and taken the money I used to make.
I drink more. I think about how much hope and pride my family has in me. But here I am. I don’t wanna do this anymore.
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