Hey everyone! About a year ago this sub helped me a lot. I created a post with the title: “Feel like a loser at 22.” I talked about how I was 22 (now 23) and never had a real job. I’ve been a full time student all my life. At the time of the post I had been looking for my first real job for about 7 months. I graduated in May 2020 with a 4.0 with a BA in History and a minor in Business. I also talked about how my family runs a restaurant business but I felt that my parents did not want me working for the business and wanted me to venture else where. The post attracted so much encouraging feedback and I found out that I wasn’t the only one my age who’s never had a job.
My update is that I landed a good job in December 2020! The pay was great for my first real job and I was very grateful. I was a COVID contact tracer who worked from home and had some awesome co-workers and felt like I helped a ton of people/workplaces deal with their COVID situations. I talked to hundreds of people. The job lasted about 10 months but recently me and practically all of my co-workers got laid off since my province stopped contact tracing. So basically… I feel like I’m back at square 1 of the “I’m a loser” post and now I’m a year older.
I’m currently looking for a job again but am not too sure where to start. I feel like I kind of need professional help to find a path, but how or where do I even go for that? A therapist maybe? Guidance counsellors? Im not sure.
One main issue is that I don’t think I want to go to back school because I did have ambitions to become a teacher and pursue a second degree. But, when I was in school for my BA I was so stressed that I met with a psychiatrist, and they told me I had OCD tendencies. I was uncontrollably obsessed with getting good grades. I know this sounds ridiculous. I just had a massive phobia when it came to exams and preparing for them. I hate the word, but I was somewhat of a perfectionist because I felt that if I didn’t study everything for an exam I would fail it. This led to 7-8 hour study sessions per day and it was just brutal… and it’s not like my classes were particularly hard, but I put the work in at school… just maybe too much and I couldnt mentally control that. That feeling is really stopping me from going back. I got a 4.0 but didn’t feel satisfied with it either, partly because people told me I have a useless degree and that made me even more stressed. And that feeling of OCD somewhat carried into my first real job as a contact tracer too… I felt like I needed to do everything perfectly and would lose my mind if I did one thing wrong. Anyways I did more research on this and this article really describes me perfectly: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6376362/
Now that’s aside, I’ve been keeping somewhat busy day-to-day though. My family’s business has an office with a basement that I’ve been organizing and cleaning since it’s a bit of a mess. Besides work I have some volunteer experience at community festivals, a ton of volunteer experience serving customers food at caterings, and about 4 months of experience at an elementary school, so I mean it’s not exactly a loaded resume.
Lastly and probably most importantly: I simply just want to be happy. The job I want doesn’t need to pay a lot (hopefully as much as my last job though), but I want to feel at least somewhat content about showing up to work and contributing to society or my community somehow. There’s also that aspect of not wanting to be a disappointment to my parents. I also have one more thing to say in the comment section…
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