I realize this will probably make me sound like a toxic asshole but in being truthful I’ve always been a pretty competitive person in all walks of life but especially when it comes to work. I consistently benchmark myself against my peers and strive to be “better”, accomplish more tasks, and do more complex/intensive work. I have had a bad habit of being too nosy and “spying” on what my coworkers are doing and how correctly they’re doing things, making sure they aren’t busier than me, etc. Ridiculously, it makes me unsettled if I ever see that they’re currently taking on more assignments/harder assignments (even though I know the reality is that it all ebbs and flows and we all ultimately balance out in our time to shine), whereas most people would probably cherish some downtime. It’s not so bad that I would try to sabotage someone else or refuse to help, but the idea that my coworkers are more competition than teammates is engrained within me. The culture of the firms I've worked at isnt cut-throat by any means so this is all just an internal problem. any advice or anyone who can relate?
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