This is my first post on Reddit. I came here because I need to vent and feel like I can’t really talk to anyone else about it other than my best friend, who, bless her heart, has listened to me bitch about this constantly without complaining. I feel like I can’t talk to my boyfriend about this either, for fear of what he’ll think. The situation is that I started a well paying job in AML over six months ago. For those who don’t know what that is, it’s Anti-Money Laundering. Now, most people would consider this an interesting job and it is actually quite a coveted career, with more and more people trying to break into this business every day. However, I am completely miserable in my new role. Every day I wake up and dread starting my work day. The problem is is that I don’t feel passionate about the job, it doesn’t feel rewarding, and I just feel like a SUCK at it. AML is so subjective, and it doesn’t help that I am completely indecisive when working cases, and I feel like it takes me hours longer to finish cases than others because I can’t make up my damn mind if the activity is suspicious or not. I feel like I have to work twelve hour days just to stay on top of things. Before anyone says anything about “Well what if you do everything you can to improve”? I know. I’ve been doing this, and I still hate the job. It also doesn’t help that work remotely, and have terrible trouble focusing. I feel like I need to have a job where I’m constantly doing different things. I am not patient. I cannot sit for long periods of time and focus. I wish I could just...quit. However, I wouldn’t know what I would want to do for a career. Maybe I’d try to finish getting my bachelor’s degree and actually become a therapist like I had planned on doing when I was eighteen. I don’t know. All I know is that I’m not happy with my current job. I feel like quitting would be so freeing. Even if it meant going back to work at a coffee shop just to get by while I finished school. What would my boyfriend say, though? What would my parents say? The people at my company who I still sometimes talk to? The humility. Anyhow, I’m just ranting at this point. My job is just making me miserable to a point that I have no energy to do anything, not even cook a meal. I don’t even have time to work out because I’m always trying to catch up on work. I want to conclude by asking if anyone else out there is in my shoes, and also, please do not think that I am not aware of the struggle of some people out there due to COVID. I realize how hard it is for some who don’t have a job and are grateful just to have food on the table. I know I am fortunate, I am just not happy, but I don’t mean to sound spoiled.
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