Short Story: Our boss wanted to fire my bf because of performance issues. My bf has health and behavioral issues that are keeping him from doing his job. I helped him before which improved the situation but eventually, the situation returned to my boss wanting to fire him again. I’m not sure if I should help my bf or let him lose his job this time.
Details:
6 months into a company, my boss fired my friend (a web developer). My boss confided to me before firing him to make sure that I stay even if he fires him. I wasn’t able to do anything to prevent it.
So we opened the dev position and I referred my boyfriend, also a dev. At that time, he has been looking for a job for months already (pre-COVID). He got accepted and we became co-workers without the knowledge of my boss (we work remotely). My boss thinks he’s just another close friend.
Fast forward to 9 months, my boss is telling me that he noticed the dev is not performing well. He stated his disappointment and confided to me again and asked me the same questions. This time I asked my boss if I can talk to the dev (my boyfriend).
On normal days, I see my boyfriend working but he has some complicated problems. He has ADHD so he’s either losing focus and not working at all or too focused and does nothing but work. My boyfriend is also suffering from clinical depression. This means that he can get depressed even without triggers. When he’s depressed, he’s slow (physically and cognitively) and oversleeps. He missed deadlines and is not responsive when our boss is asking him questions.
So I talked to my boyfriend and warned him. I also decided to manage him myself (we live together). I would wake him up when my boss asks questions to him, and I always coach him to give regular updates to our boss. We also went to the gym regularly to keep our mental health stable. His performance improved.
COVID came and luckily we still have our jobs. My mental state started to deteriorate because of the uncertainty of the situation. There’s also no outlet like a gym or social interaction. My performance started to suffer so I went back to minding my own business and focusing on my job.
Surprisingly, not giving a f*ck about others put me in the momentum and I was at peak performance most of the time. I’m getting praise from my boss and coworkers and those have been my most productive months yet.
Lately, my boss asked another co-worker to QA my bf’s work and this resulted in the discovery of a lot of bugs and broken links. These are high-impact mistakes that can easily be avoided. Once again, my boss is pissed and he’s telling me he’s losing a lot of money because of the dev and is ready to let him go.
I’m pissed at my bf because I feel like he’s not doing his best, although he’s saying that he is. Lots of times I would be working while I see him play video games. On top of that, my bf owes me a lot of money due to months of being unemployed. He wasn’t able to pay me back immediately because he’s also sending money to his family.
I know it’s within my power to convince my boss to give my bf another chance but a part of me is saying that this is not the right decision because we might end up circling back again. I’m torn between helping my bf and letting him lose his job.
What should I do? Any advice would help.
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