Well, I have an offer in the works for contract work, which will solve quite a few immediate issues and I will be happy having a real income again after months of not much. My only big goal at this point is to kill my student loan over the next few years. I really should be focused more on concern over that than any career at this point (I also have a housing emergency that immediately needs taken care of).
And yet, here I am already ruining any peace or relief over finally getting any job at all over freaking out worrying that the job is going to be terrible. The work itself is something I'm interested in doing for the length of the contract. The workplace seemed all right. There's only one review online and it was complaining about the pay and office drama, but that's pretty much everywhere. I just feel like I ruin it for myself every time I get new work by worrying that I'm not going to do well, that they're going to not like my performance, that I'm going to end up totally miserable, etc. I also think it may be what has led me to quit previous jobs months before I really should have, or working through a temporary hard spot the company has - I have noticed previous companies I've worked for get through whatever problem they were having months after I left and I've regretted leaving.
And I know that no company or job is going to be perfect. I'm technically not even a perfect fit for anything (seriously, on an aptitude test I matched highest with 'farmer'). But if I don't make it through this contract job other pieces of my life will just be a mess.
(And yes, I realize I should probably continue my job hunt during the contract job but I'm extremely burned out and have some immediate issues to fix.)
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