I am mentally exhausted

Hi! This is not a rant but sharing my thoughts here as I know I am not alone in this and I see people supporting each other in this community a lot. To start off I am and Indian living in Italy . I studied software engineering as my bachelor's in India and moved here to study product design for my master's as I realized it was something I was truly passionate about.I won't get into details but ,the last 6 years have been the worst years of my life but I pulled though (I have interesting stories about this ,if you want to know ,I'll be happy to talk in some other thread probably).So I graduated by the end of January here. And I started applying as a fresh graduate.I had very less experience and obviously things didn't go well. I had to stop for some health issues but then the pandemic hit. During this time I improved on my skills both for interviews and took upon smaller work from home internships and freelance projects for experience . I saw major improvement and was very excited and confident in my work.But a lot of other unfortunate events occured during this time.I don't know how but I managed.I was broke and on the streets because my landlord screwed me over .Regardless during the pandemic out of dumb luck I found someone and he employed me to work on his farm in some distant small town .I worked in the morning and did my other projects in the evening. Finally I had a good enough portfolio and started apply again from the end of June. I somehow managed enough money to apply for an extension to my visa. From june up until now I had 9 interviews out if which I went to the second round for 8 of them and last round for 5. The problem is they usually reject me for 3 reasons apart from my skill level even though I was qualified

I have been applying in Italy, Germany, Netherlands, Denmark and Sweden mainly.

  1. I don't know the language of the country (which I understand and my Italian is not bad).
  2. I am not a European citizen
  3. They are broke because of the pandemic (Again I understand as even though I exceeded expectations in my internship,they couldn't give the position for the financial situation of the company due to COVID).

I understand these being legitimate reasons but sometimes it gets frustrating because I am not being judged on the basis of my skills .I didn't take a day off during the pandemic and worked on myself everyday on myself for at least 18 hours a day to the point it started affecting my mental health and I had to go to a counselor.

I am very disheartened after almost 400± applications and since I want to work in the EU , I have limited time to find a job before my visa expires.

Anyway I know a lot of people are going through the same and I hope everyone gets their share of success.I am feeling utterly hopeless and disheartened.

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I am mentally exhausted I am mentally exhausted Reviewed by Louhi on septembre 17, 2020 Rating: 5

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