Throwaway for reasons and because I'm a big effing idiot.
First things first, I know I'm an idiot. I dug this hole and I'm going to climb my way out of it but I need help/advice in doing so. We're all on the same side here, we all think I'm an idiot.
So I have been looking for work since January. I graduated in December with a Master's degree in a field I don't plan to work in but COVID has destroyed my chances of finding work, nobody wants to hire an inexperienced grad looking for work in the wrong field. A few rugs have been pulled from under me but I found two more two weeks ago. One is a temp position for an administrative assistant/accounting clerk for a national construction business that was set to only last about 4 months at the longest. Pay isn't what I want but I'm starting an online accounting program so I figured I'd get the experience and it's only 10 minutes from my house. Job two is in my hometown (about 2 hours away and I can live with my parents but I'll still have to pay rent on my house now because my fiance will still be living there.) and it's in the field I don't want to be in but it's a permanent job and turnover is pretty high so if I leave in a year nobody's going to be upset.
I ended up taking the admin job in town and after being absolutely overwhelmed the first 3 days I fell into a groove and started to see the bright side of the job Thursday and Friday. It confirmed for me that accounting is what I'm supposed to be doing.
Now the mess up. Warning: Stupidity ahead.
The job is through a staffing agency and on Wednesday two weeks ago, I'm depressed because I haven't found work after looking for 9 months despite having two degrees. On Thursday I find out that there's a possibility of finding a job here in town and that I'm getting coffee with the general manager. On Friday I have a job offer in hand and he wants me to start on Monday. I take the initial interview for the job in my home town that same friday and find out it will be a long process before they hire somebody. as a result I take the temp job knowing that if I get a permanent offer for the home town job I'll accept and quit the temp job.
So I accept the temp job. Then I celebrated... with something that I haven't used since April. I smoked a joint. In a state where it is very very illegal. I actually texted the staffing agent before I did so to make sure. I should have been more specific but I asked her if there was anything else I needed to do before it's official, specifically testing of any kind. Her response was that I was good.
I make it through my first week and I don't hear from the agent at all and I'm lighting up after work everyday. Friday, three days ago, she sends me an email at 9 AM telling me to leave the office so I can go take my drug test. Cue internal panic. I'm on the verge of tears when I leave and I call my fiance and ask her for some clean urine. She obliges but the testing lab uses temperature testing too so my first sample was flagged and I had to test again, this time with my own. I literally smoked the night before so I know it's going to show up.
Warning: More stupidity ahead.
I ended up telling the staffing agent that I had a friend from Denver (not a lie) come to visit (lie) and that I smoked with him the two days leading up to getting the email from her on Thursday (lie) and that I hadn't smoked since (lie) and that I was worried it was going to show up on the test (not a lie). I also talked to my new boss one-on-one after I got back to let him know too and gave him the same story.
Both were surprisingly cool about it all and my new boss even started talking to me about masking agents for tests and was in the same boat about being kind of upset that I wasn't informed about the test sooner. He said "if it's just pot, I don't see how that would be an issue. I'd bet that 25% of this company does after work on a regular basis." He seems optimistic that I'll pass based on my story and he tells me that I'll
Now today, he talks to his district manager and finds out that if anything shows up, the company can't hire me. The lab takes a few days to process and probably won't report to the staffing agency tomorrow they will by Wednesday and then it's over for me. I've moved thought the 5 stages of depression already with and I've accepted my situation. I put myself here and I have nobody to blame but myself (and the staffing agent but that's neither here nor there).
So now I want to know how I should move forward to better from this experience (outside of the obvious). Even though it'll only have been a week and a half in the position, I'd love to include it on my resume to show that I've at least been exposed to doing accounting for a company and even ran an accounting department by myself (albeit for only 3 days at the most). I am worried about the typical questions that come with job experience or a potential employer reaching out. I also don't want to just erase the past week and the next day or two. I still put in the effort to find work, I learned an extremely complex system in the span of a week, and took care of the accounting for an entire branch at a construction firm (for two or three days), I just shot myself in the foot big time (the staffing agent didn't tell me the gun was loaded but I'm the one who aimed it and pulled the trigger). So how do I use this experience to my advantage moving forward? Or do I erase it from my memory?
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