I posted in another thread but want some more advice. I’m early twenties UK male living in rural countryside. I applied for a ton of jobs. I lost my last job pre corona and couldn’t get another during corona. I don’t drive, and since losing last proper job I decided to focus on getting bff my license, then the virus hit. Cancelling my tests and lessons.
Anyway, other than feeling crappy that I have been unemployed for months with no income (not even govt help, it feels wrong of me to do it in a time of crisis when I have some savings I can use) I applied for a lot of jobs; Grad programmes etc. All that good stuff that takes several hours to fill out a single application, followed by tests and then a rejection a week later. Anyway, this one I kept getting through stages. Everything I said was true, and they seemed to like me. Eventually I got offered a job a few days ago and verbally accepted on the phone, before a written email agreement was sent through. This I feel was my first mistake.
It felt difficult to say “can I think about it” when the HR person clearly has a smile on their face over the phone as they offer the role over it without making it sound like I’m not interested. Since I did that, I told my family who jumped for joy and we’ll have seemed to tell everyone they know, that I’m working for this company.
This new job is several hours from where I am, in rural UK. And will be around a 45 min walk until I can get my test passed and a set of wheels. If things go south with it, I can’t help but feel like I’d be trapped. If I can’t do my job well enough or don’t meet their expectations, I’d be screwed. Anyone and anything I know is hours away, and I’ve never really done a job like this. It is a TRAINING programme but the contract they sent via email let me know that they’d have high expectations of what I was to produce in the role, when I have no real experience with the specific software they use or the type of business they’re in. I’ve said this in interviews, but reading the high bar on the contract stressed me out to think that I’d turn up and on day one get some assignment that I’d have 0 clue on what to do! Is this the equivalent of dreaming I have an exam and arriving with no trousers?
The role puts me right in the department, and I worry if I don’t know something I’d look like a fool and a let down. The only expectations I know they have is what they listed in the contract, which I know I can’t achieve without training, but they haven’t really specified what would go on with the training.
I’m ticking like a metronome over if I go, or if I find some crazy excuse to stay and look more at home. Yes, I’d get out of the house and have a ‘real’ job but also I’d be very much alone with far greater risks if this thing doesn’t work out.
Start date is around a month. I need to get an apt, move some of my stuff and buy other appliances.
This whole experience up to now made me realise what I do cherish and what I do want. This is a real career move. What I care about now though is family, getting my driving, trying to set up a workshop and my dogs. This job totally takes me away from that.
I’d love some advice. Everyone seems to say “go and take the job” on articles, but the nagging voice in my head tells me I’m a fraud, I’m going to be bad at my job and they’ll find that out and not want me working there a short while into the role.
I’ve sort of got to the conclusion in my head right now that if I go, and it doesn’t work out or I don’t like it I can say “I tried”. But if that happens too early, I’ve basically sunk a bunch of money that I can’t get back any time soon.
I kinda just want my old retail job that could suck at times, but it was nice just to get to work, so my job and my work stress stays at work.
TLDR; accepted verbal offer on phone straight away without thinking of move consequences, now I’m stressed I will be bad at the job.
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