First: Obligatory “hang in there you’ll get it!”
Since November 2018 I’ve been looking for permanent work and trying to go back for round two of grad school. I was waitlisted by one school, rejected by everyone else, and in spite of numerous positive last-round job interviews it wasn’t until this past Tuesday that I finally, finally got an offer for a permanent position. In short, my entire last year has been a world of rejection.
As so many folks in here can attest, this entire process is SO EFFING DEMORALIZING. I can’t even tell you guys the number of mornings I dragged myself out of bed and into the shower just to find myself sobbing over my inadequacy. I was actually doing some pretty cool things with my time, but the fact that I couldn’t get any traction— that I was good but not good enough— cast a black raincloud over everything. My temp position ended in March, and I was burning through my savings and terrified about what might happen when they ran out.
About a month ago I remembered an op-ed I read in the New York Times about a comedian/writer who went on a masochistic journey of trying to get 100 rejections in a year (I know so many of you have gotten WAY more than that). I thought a lot about what she learned during that process. What I drew from it was to start anticipating a no, and to let that expectation take some of the pressure off. When I finally decided that the last two jobs I applied to would be it until I was done with school applications in January, it brought a lot peace and acceptance. Not much hiring during the holidays anyway, right?
In the end, I made it to the final round for both, and got the offer from one (I withdrew my candidacy from the other so I don’t know what would have happened there). I feel like being less desperate to impress during interviews, not sugar-coating my weaknesses, and not overselling my strengths was what helped most. Even if I hadn’t succeeded here, I was being kinder to myself and that made a huge difference.
So, yes: the rejection is awful. The fear is awful. Feeling useless is awful. Hanging in there is key, but you don’t have to torture yourself in the process. Take the rejections as they come and don’t beat yourself up about it. Even if it takes a long time to finally get an offer, I really believe that if you're good to yourself others will treat you in kind.
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