I’m interviewing in a new city and I had possibly the weirdest interview and post-interview experience of my life and now I’m second guessing myself.

So I recently (in the last few weeks) relocated to take advantage of better job opportunities. I moved across the country from where I grew up and where I went to college, and as such all of my references are located in a different timezone (more on this later, we’re all still in the continental US). I had applied for a copy editing job with an ad agency right after I got into town. I applied on indeed using the easy apply option, with no cover letter and the ad was less than a paragraph. It left my mind and I moved on, interviewing for other positions in the meantime. On Monday I received an email from the guy who runs this ad agency, asking for my availability for an interview. We settled on Wednesday morning, and I arrived on time.

Now let me start by saying this guy was at least 70 years old. I have no issue with older people, in fact I worked in a nursing home in college and it was an enjoyable experience. It became apparent, however, that he had an issue with millennials (I’m 26). Several of his opening questions were related to how I deal with older coworkers and did I understand that I can’t just come and go as I please in this position and also “you younger people tend to float from one place to the next, I would expect my employees to be more dedicated to company loyalty” etc. He also asked about my family life, whether I’m single or have kids, if I have student loan debt. I said I wasn’t really comfortable answering these questions (what with it being illegal and stuff) and he said I didn’t have to. It’s fine, I mean it’s not fine but whatever, I’m a big girl, I can handle a grumpy old man being an invasive old man. So the job was what I thought it would be, writing copy for ads and then sending media packages to designers, and then approving finished ads and forwarding them to the sales team for the client. Standard small ad agency. I don’t have experience in advertising but I do have some background in marketing and sales and I know enough about photoshop that it’s on my resume, so even though my degree is in history I’m not unqualified for this job.

So after the interview I emailed him a writing sample (which I actually suggested, it was weird to me that he hadn’t asked for one given that I didn’t write a cover letter and it’s a writing-centric position). He had also requested I send him my resume, because I guess he doesn’t know how to print it off indeed...? I did this, and my resume includes three references (two professional, one personal). He emails me on Thursday to ask if I have any references in the local area. I was very forthcoming about how recently I have moved to this area in the interview, and my entire resume is on the other side of the country so that should have been another hint. Luckily, I have an old friend from college who lives in this city and she agreed to be a personal reference for me. She works during the day for a hotel and can’t always answer her phone.

Let me be clear, this isn’t a job I particularly want, but I need a job so I’m not ruling anything out. I had a different interview for a job I actually want (more customer service oriented) and when I pulled my phone out afterwards I saw that I had a missed call from this ad agency guy. He left a message asking me to call him back, so I did. He said hello and how are you, I said “fine and you?” And he responded with “I’d be a lot better if I could get ahold of people.” I apologized for not answering the phone when he called (I called him back less than 2 minutes later but whatever) and he said he actually meant my references. Apparently one of them no longer works for the company we were together at, and the other three didn’t answer his call. I called the person he said was no longer there, and her outgoing message clearly states that she’s out on maternity leave and will be available by phone on Monday mornings at that number. The other two in my home state were probably just working, given it was around 4 on a Friday for them when this was happening. My local friend is at work today and won’t see the missed call for another hour.

So first of all, this is an unfamiliar number with a far away area code calling you, of course you don’t answer and you let it go to voicemail. I don’t know if this guy left messages, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he didn’t. It would be easy for them to return messages because he’ll still be in the office hours after they’re done for the day because of the time change. At this point, everything about this guy makes me not want to work for him. It would be good experience, but I’m in a wedding in the fall that I’m not confident I’d be able to actually get time off for, and if I left after a year I’m not sure he’d even give me a decent reference. I’m chalking it up to interview practice, but if he calls me again I may not even respond. I’m considering telling my references not to bother calling him back.

Worth noting, I also just got a job waiting tables and the interview I had today is promising, with a second interview and a different one entirely tomorrow. No where else that I’ve interviewed (and we’re in double digits at this point) has been this on top of me about stuff. Has this happened to anyone else? It’s starting to make me second guess other interviews, because one of the businesses I have on my resume is now closed and can’t be contacted (none of my listed references are from that job, I just worked there for over a year). And I’m wondering if I should have just gotten up when he asked those invasive questions and left. I don’t need to be spending time thinking about this job I’m really probably not going to take if it’s offered to me but I can’t get it out of mind, even after better interviews.

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