Sooo my anxiety is getting the best of me and I’ve been ruminating over this. Here’s the problem:
The previous company I had worked for closed down due to bankruptcy and it was my very first retail job. The pay was actually decent (albeit I’m speaking from the perspective of a freshman in college lmao) and the relations between both the managers and the co-workers had a family atmosphere. Overall, my experience was amazing and I actually enjoyed going to work hence why this particular experience kind of set the bar for future jobs.
Regardless, I had to find a new job asap and I immediately applied for another retail job in the same mall. From the start, something felt off but lmao I assumed my anxiety was probably just messing with me. Anyway, I was interviewed and I was instantly given a job offer, which I accepted out of desperation despite the fact that the pay was actually lower in comparison to my previous job.
I started my new job after a week and frankly, I’m disappointed by the experience. There isn’t anything that’s entirely drastic let alone outlandish, but it’s just little things that make it dreadful for me to even get up and go to work. I noticed that one of the managers tend to speak behind the staff’s back about specific employees and this is kind of a red flag for me because I would prefer a manager that would be honest and straight up with me so I could improve my performance in the future rather than gossip as if they were in high school. Albeit, I’m unsure of whether she talked smack about me (since I know that I tend to take longer than others when it comes to adapting to a new environment) with others, but I do know that she’s done this with other employees. Frankly, a manager like that makes me uncomfortable since it inhibits communication, a working relationship, and an improvement in performance.
Second, there’s another manager who gets irritated very easily. She was honest with me from the start about this, which I appreciate since I prefer managers to be straight forward rather than passive; however, I constantly feel like I’m on the edge whenever I’m around her and as someone who is constantly anxious, I tend to be shaky and clumsy with my performance especially when the presence of others is intimidating and hostile. She isn’t a bad person, but her working style isn’t necessarily compatible with my personality and how I function.
Not only that, but I specifically requested that I mainly work during the weekdays. The manager interviewing me was actually appreciative of that because she claimed that they needed more people to work the weekdays since the staff was usually only available during the weekends; however, she’s been scheduling me on weekends for the past couple of weeks, which is very inconvenient because as of now, I am unable to drive and weekends are incompatible with my ride. At the same time, she would make me come to the store for 1 hour shifts (albeit they were paid training sessions) when she is aware of the fact that I live 40 minutes away. I practically live in the middle of nowhere so my commute tends to take longer compared to most people hence why it’s such a waste of gas money for me to travel 40 minutes just to get paid $9 and the lack of hours don’t help either.
My experience in this new workplace has been increasing my state of anxiousness so I’ve been trying to find new jobs to apply at. Thankfully, my co-worker from my previous job was recently hired for a different retail company and I was able to secure a position there with better pay, hours, less work, and a family-like relationship between the managers and the co-workers. It’s basically a reminiscent of my experience with my first job. The problem is that I need to quit my current job before I start (I have 2 weeks before I start my new job) yet whenever I attempt to do so, I always end up wimping out or I’m rendered speechless. There was another time where I was going to give them my two week notice by informing one of the nicer managers; however, she was so stressed at the moment that she was on the verge of crying and I was unable to tell her by the end of my shift. I felt really guilty and I didn’t want to burden her with anymore troubles, so I thought I would postpone it. My next attempt was a failure as well because I was paired to work with the intimidating manager and I was just shaky and speechless the entire time.
I’m hoping to try again during my next scheduled shift, but I’m unsure of how to approach the situation. Maybe I’m just being nit picky of the job and perhaps I’m just over analyzing it, but the fact that the job itself is making me unhappy is a sign that it’s best for me to leave especially when I have a better opportunity in line for me. Should I give my two week notice at the beginning of my shift or the end of my shift? I’ve been debating on this because I tried doing it during the end of my shift, but something always comes up and it just doesn’t end up happening. I want to do it at the beginning of my shift, but I’m worried that they’ll just terminate me (then again, I should be happy about that because it’ll just make my life easier lmao). I think it’s just the idea of disappointing others and fearing a hostile reaction that’s holding me back. Any sort of advice would be really helpful because I’ve been ruminating over this for quite awhile now and it’s been making me sick to my stomach just from thinking about it.
Sidenote: I really don’t think a retail job and a dilemma like this should be making me so anxious but I just tend to naturally over worry to the point that it’s unhealthy lol
Also, please note that I’ve only been working there for about 4 weeks now and I haven’t even finished my assigned training. Would a two weeks notice even be necessary since I lack the skill and knowledge that the business needs? I feel like if I stay for the next two weeks, i’ll just be a waste to their pay roll and frankly, I don’t really care about getting paid for the next two weeks. I’d rather leave early if possible, but I want to be courteous to them. They scheduled me for some shifts for the next week, so should I just offer to finish up the hours they scheduled me for and then leave? I lack experience and this is my first time quitting a job, so I’m super nervous especially since the managers are known for having attitudes and worst case scenario, I’m afraid of suddenly crying in front of them on the spot since confrontation tends to do that to me lmao. I’m generally a timid and soft-spoken person, so I’m unsure of how to go about this.
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