Background: I am straight out of college and about 6 months into a role at a fairly large private company. I work on the finance team, which includes 3 other team members. My direct manager works in the other office which is located across the U.S. in a time zone that is 3 hours ahead, so all of our communication is over email/chat/phone. This role was originally intended for someone with 4 + years of experience, but I applied and eventually got offered the role. I would point out that we are pretty understaffed as a team.
As much as I like the work, the job can be very stressful. Our team of 4 is responsible for all financial deliverables in a company that has over 800 employees. Not being in the same office or time zone as my manager makes things complicated when I have a question or want feedback. There can be a whole day or a stretch of a day where I can't talk to my manage because he's busy or because of the time zone difference. Because of this, I am mostly on my own at times. My manager's boss has said to me multiple times that I need to just "figure it out."
Example: Here is an example: I was working on a quarter end board deck, and had a question for my manager. I wasn't able to get contact of him. This leads to me wasting a lot of time trying to figure things out that I haven't done or are very complex . I end up putting the PowerPoint together. For one of the slides I used an old file that my co-worker had built to update a chart. When reviewing the PowerPoint, I was asked how the file works and I replied that I understand most of it but not the entire thing. My manager's boss replied with "you should understand every file you use," and I was given a huge talk on this. My issue is that I don't have the capacity to understand every single file our team uses, especially when there are hard deadlines on these PowerPoints. I was also told to "use my brain" when I was asked why an old file that I hadn't built was grouped a certain way. My manager's boss said you should notice these things and change them when using the file.
Performance improvement plan: Our company pays out quarterly bonuses, and the day before the bonus my manager set up a meeting with me. He said that the team had decided that they were going to cut my bonus by 25% because I was struggling. I asked with what, and he said "your attention to detail." He said there have times where your formatting is off and not being able to notice the small things. He asked me what my thoughts were on this decision. I didn't say anything besides "I agree that I can improve on my attention to detail, but I need some time to process and come up with any questions I may have. Let's talk about it soon." I was told that my manager will fill out some paperwork and we will connect on this then.
My thoughts: My response to this is that it is true that I may miss some formatting here and there, but given how much there is to do, I think it's close to impossible not to. I also don't understand why they waited right before the bonus payout to tell me this? I don't think I get enough formal training, and not being able to consistently talk to my manager is though. I understand he's busy, but I think we need more touch points and reviews together. I'm pretty upset with this because I feel like I am adding value to the team. I agree that there are times where I can catch any issues with "attention to detail," but its hard when your focus is on getting the work done.
What should my approach be here? I want to leave the company, but I don't have enough experience. It's also very hard to get time off without asking months in advance, so interviewing for jobs will be though.
What should my next step be?
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