[UK] I thought I wanted to be a librarian but I don't know where to aim for next and I'm confused and frustrated: can anyone in the field help me out?

Hello! I put off posting here because I'm new to this sub, but I keep hitting the same walls over and over and over. If this is formatted weirdly, I apologise in advance.

I'm a 24yo History graduate (modern specialism) who has gone through a few periods of temporary employment and training since finishing my course and dissertation in 2016, then graduating in 2017 (finished dissertation late, more on that later). I wanted to be an archivist, or to work in local history/heritage, but I'm attempting to branch out, as I understand that those jobs aren't exactly thick on the ground (even though it's not like library jobs are much better in terms of availability but ykwim). I live in the North, in a poor postindustrial area near a big city where the main jobs on offer are warehousing or carer jobs.

In terms of specific experience, I have done three months of library work experience/shadowing (apr-jul '17), followed by a paid traineeship (sep'17- jan '18). Both of these placements were with the local library service. I wasn't allowed to apply for internal vacancies as I was being paid by a recruitment agency instead of the council (my job coach thought this sounded suspect, but I don't know enough to dispute it). A job did come up after, I did apply for it and get an interview but didn't get the job (I did get feedback along the lines of "you didn't say enough" and then something garbled about how I didn't give an example of working with a difficult colleague even though the question was about something I'd done as part of a team. Odd). I will try again with that service eventually, but some of the dodgy things I've seen/heard about how they treat some staff have soured it for me, even though I got on well with the colleagues who weren't senior managers.

Anyway.

I've just been sent another potential job application for a role in a college library by my job coach, which I can work on while on my placement next week. I'm currently on Movement To Work experience at the JCP because I couldn't find anything for Christmas, I have terrible confidence in my abilities and my job coach is actually alright. I'm just hoping this might get me experience to work in a slightly less evil part of the civil service. I've looked at the listing for this library job, only to find out that an ACLIP is just another CILIP qualification... I think? I do not have CILIP membership, as I am not eligible for the student rate and the usual rate is £100 a year (I could ask my dad to pay but we're not extremely well off). I'm not sure what benefits I'm entitled to as a vanilla CILIP member, or if there will be any guaranteed benefits and opportunities for someone like me if I register.

When I was at university, one of my tutors was pushing most of our year to do postgrad and asked me why I wasn't planning on doing so. I was already feeling burnt out by doing just my undergrad/dissertation and was both worried about extra financial burden and whether I was going to pass final year, never mind writing something longer than my mess of a dissertation. I also have a specific learning disorder that gives me difficulty with executive dysfunction, planning and elaborating. I realise it was absolutely foolish to not get a postgrad for a range of positions that mandate postgrad certificates, but the horror stories of postgrad mental breakdowns and further lack of job opportunities still makes me nervous. I don't know if I want to do postgrad yet and I don't know if I should try to aim for lower-level library positions or civil service next. Nobody else around me knows what my job requirements are, hence why they keep sending me stuff and not realising what CILIP means.

tl;dr not sure if I feel ready to do a postgraduate certificate for librarianship/archiving/information work because I don't think I could do a good thesis, not sure if I should join CILIP because no-ones explained the benefits of membership to me, I feel like I may have to go into the civil service but I'm not sure if I should do that either. Very confused and I've been batted around so many people/orgs in two years that I know I'm basically on my own in trying to figure this stuff out

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