So I am feeling stuck at my current job, and I don't really know what to do.
I work for a small software company (10 people) and while it pays okay-ish for the area, I don't fit in here. At all. To top it all off, my co-worker who has been here for the same amount of time has already been through the process of potentially getting a raise, and has even been asked to give input on very important processes within the company. He has developed many new features, and I've struggled to develop on one (i.e. almost failed our sprint because I took a task that others required to work.)
I am not sure what to do. I've started looking at other jobs, but I am thinking... what if I am just not cut out to be a developer? I love coding occasionally in my spare time, but I feel like doing it for a job and having so many people relying on me to do it may not be for me. I'm not sure what types of jobs I should apply for if I really love to code, but don't want to have much responsibility when it comes to design decisions, because I am starting to drown. I dread going to work every Monday--I am starting to get anxiety attacks, and it shouldn't be this way. The documentation isn't good, and I don't fit in with the people. It's like I am just not on the same wavelength as these people. To top it all off, my probation is getting extended.
Help? What do you recommend I do? I already had an interview with a different company, but I don't really have any references to vouch for me at a software development job. Plus it's another small company where they told me I'd be thrown into the deep-end... so that put me off from it.
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