Context:
I work at a high school as a leader. This is my first year as a leader and I am the youngest leader in the network (27). I manage a few employees and mentor them.
Scenario I was recently given feedback about my performance. I got a lot of praise for knowing my content and material and asking good questions, as well as being approachable.My critical feedback focused on being more assertive and being too friendly and unprofessional.
I've asked my manager for direct feedback prior to receiving this, and was told everything was fine. Questions about my credibility have come up and have always been present--mainly due to my age. I am also very open and not afraid of vulnerability, which is something we as an org strive to be, in order to ensure trust.
I was very vulnerable with staff my.first few days and shared about myself. Apparently, this keeps resurfacing as "unprofessional" and "personal baggage that erodes trust".
No specific examples were given and as of yet, I never felt I was being overly unprofessional. I don't curse or say inappropriate things, or do anything egregious. In addition, this sharing happened over 7 months ago. I do agree about overfriendliness, as I have brought this up myself to my manager, wanting more support in being more firm. I was also critiqued by peers for not engaging with everyone on my leadership team: There's one individual who just refuses to acknowledge my presence so that has likely been showing. They acknowledge everyone else but me. I've expressed my concern about this to a fellow colleague, but I know I should be the bigger person and just approach them or move on. It also doesn't help me that I do not have a peer working in my department either. I am My own resource.
I don't have a "clique" of my own either. This individual has a larger base of colleagues to work with due to their content, but I do not. I try to engage with everyone and don't try to isolate myself from people I don't directly manage or in my department, but don't know what to do.
Tl;dr: I have a relatively outgoing and friendly personality and do not try to judge. I question if it is a matter of.being unprofessional or is it just my personality. I feel like I have to fit myself in a box that isn't me. I also don't have friends at work I hang out with outside. I try to develop my own life outside due to my lack of colleagues to work with. Has anyone else dealt with this?
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