TL;DR on my background, which I am too jaded to describe in detail: good GPA (3.8+), honors college, research experience, corporate internships on my resume, awards and honors, have been told by many slimy recruiters that my resume is good. Solid network of professionals and academics. I'm an average interviewer, I'd say I get 50% of the roles I interview for. I did more than everything "right." I noticed what people were doing wrong much before college so I could prepare myself accordingly. Clearly, it was useless.
My junior year internship decided not to give full time offers because they were struggling, even though they were a known firm/bank. Started for looking for roles then, Sept. 2019. Couldn't find anything up until COVID-19 started in March. Still couldn't get anything when I graduated in May.
June 2020. I got a job with a government consulting firm. Offer rescinded two days before the role started, due to COVID reasons. Unemployed until March 2021, when I naively took a role with a biglaw firm who did not even interview me (I was so desperate) and ended up working the worst job of my life as a paralegal. 0 training and an abusive, micromanaging environment. The managing shareholders would message me, a paralegal, asking for a daily list of what I had done. New paralegals were stacked with 100 cases. Saying hi to someone in this office was considered improper, it was extremely toxic but I didn't have options.
I ended up quitting two months later because the partners in my large law firm were COVID deniers (I'm in the South). There was a COVID outbreak in my office, but they did not let us work remote. I had it when I realized I was risking my life and quit. Moved back home and have been doing nothing since May. I have 0 motivation. Can't land a job, let alone an internship. "Did you try networking and applying to 10 jobs a day?" I would fucking laugh if someone said that to my face. I've applied to over 1,500 roles, I've called recruiters, aggressively networked, all to no avail. All I'm looking for is an analyst role that will pay me $45,000 a year. That's literally fucking it but I can't land it.
My only way out of this hellscape is graduate school, but everyone advises me not to go and it really bothers me. They say it's a trap and waste of money, and a lot of the programs I've looked at truly are just cash cows and a waste of my time. I see no hope anywhere even if it exists. I've gone through different anxiety and depression meds, they helped but didn't help me get a job. Therapy didn't help me, I've tried two different therapists.
I'm ready to give up. I don't know what more I could be doing.
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