It's been about 8 months since I have taken a promotional position as a manager. I manage a total of 7 comprised of both extremely competent (easy to manage) and extremely difficult and incompetent yet arrogant individuals who also happen to be lazy And my boss's personal friends that were recruited against others' negative feedback (they were hired immediately before I started, which I think was wrong for the leadership to not wait until I could start/assess the actual needs as well as ignore the other staff leads' negative feedback about the two candidates).
It's soul-crushing and I am extremely stressed out working as a manager since I take responsibility for all my staff's major mistakes and problems. I am also extremely introverted, quiet, and have a hard time criticizing others in general, and I feel that my staff take advantage of that sometimes. I tried taking HR actions against the two staff constantly causing trouble, but then HR alerted my boss and she blamed me for not having the right management skills to manage them, and threatened me not to go directly to HR again without consulting her first.
I spoke to my old boss with whom I worked for over a decade and we're on very good terms. She wants to offer me my old position there and even willing to match my current salary as a manager even though the job there would be a demotion for me since I would be back as an individual contributor.
I need to decide soon, but I can't seem to make a final decision. It's been 8 months since I worked as a manager, and I lost 12 lbs since I often skip breakfast/lunch to attend meetings throughout the day and when I'm stressed, I don't eat.
Would it be a huge mistake to let go of the manager position (learning opportunity) OR should I just go back to where I used to be (much happier and comfortable but nothing new)? I feel like I should not go back but keep surviving/learning as a new manager, but I don't want to suffer either and managing people is not something I enjoy, yet I feel like I am a big failure for going back.
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