Long story short, I graduated in May and was lucky enough to secure an internship for the summer. I’ve worked so hard to talk to as many people in my company and ask for as much advice and work that I can get in order to develop my skill-set and have my name remembered, and I was offered my first “big boy” job that I would transition into after my internship.
At the same time, I was busy applying elsewhere and covering all my bases to make sure I wasn’t putting all my marbles in my current basket, and I was just given an offer at a better company in a much better location. This offer is one I never expected to ever receive and still feels so surreal.
So why do I still feel anxious? It’s like I reached my goal, took one breath, and am still not satisfied. I don’t know how to let go of the tension and award myself for my hard work, especially since I kept my promise to myself and didn’t use my network at all and found each position on my own. I also felt like this when I graduated high school, and even college. It’s like I have impostor syndrome in my own life. I’m posting this here because I don’t want to tell my friends and feel like I’m trying to one-up them, because in the back of my mind I am (I am in therapy to fix behaviors like this it makes me ashamed of myself).
TL;DR I got my dream entry-level job but don’t feel like I deserve it.
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