[Confession] I lied to my boss 😭 then told him I lied to him, my panic right now is valid, right?

Background: I work in operations, but I do a lot more than that. My hands are in every department and I'm constantly buried in work. I started with this company at the base level a little less than 3 years ago, and have been promoted up. I've been in my current position for a little more than 1.5 years. I'm not paid well and there are no benefits, so I have started to complain to my boss who has been having talks with the owner. The owner's advisor and vp of the company that RUNS my company, the sweetest guy I know, helped me get an ac in my house, approached me to tell me to hold on a while longer because things were looking up for me. I do stuff for him occasionally, usually vendor communications, so he's aware of my scope of work.

So, literally 20 minutes before I lied to him he was saying things were looking up for me, and I'm excited. I clock off and go downstairs and he catches me before I get in my car and says "Hey (my name), did you tell (vendor name) we were considering other vendors? I blurted out "No!" before I had time to think, to which he shows me the email from our concerned vendor. I say "Nooo, not at all, big misunderstanding." I totally did tell him we were considering other vendors, because I had though that was what the VP wanted me to do. Had I just been honest and said I misunderstood what he wanted me to say, he would have probably happily said "Oh that's okay, just call him on Monday." Anyways he told me to clarify on Monday, but I'm in panic mode at this point, I say "Okay, have a good weekend!" and leave, only to pull over on my way home and call him. I admitted it was my misunderstanding, not the vendors, I thought about our conversation and sort of knee jerk reacted to the questioning. He always sounds upbeat, so he said he'd give the vendor a call, I should still follow up on Monday, and that our communication just should have been a little better.

He KNOWS I LIED TO HIS FACE. THE NICEST OLD MAN WHOS TRYING TO HELP ME. I'm now panicked, the things that were looking up for me are gone now huh? Even maybe my job? He's the number 2 guy in the company, directly under the owner, and I LIED RIGHT TO HIS FACE. WHY DID I PANIC AND LIE, I FEEL SO STUPID. I'm 24 and just starting my career path, just got my first one bedroom with no roommates, and nownit feels like I'm going to lose it all over blurting out no. Please help, do you think I should start applying to other places tonight? I'm aware I'm essential to this business, but I feel like I've totally ruined my image.

usa jobs
usa jobs resume
usa hotel jobs
usajobs
usa jobs federal government
usa job in ksa
usa jobs
usa jobs login
usa jobs gov
usajobs.gov
www.usajobs.gov
usajobs.com
usajobs
usajobs.gov official