150 applications in the past two months with no bites. I need to believe there's hope for me.

I live in a big, expensive city working a low-paying job that I despise. I'm not paycheck-to-paycheck but I'm not far from it. The job itself gives me a lot of anxiety and I dread every second of it. The time I don't spend at my job I spend dreading going in. I also spend that time filling out job applications. A few days ago I counted 150 job applications that I've filled out in the past two months. I've heard nothing back from anyone, save for rejection emails.

My girlfriend applied to a job in her field on a lark a couple of weeks ago, got an interview within a week, and was hired a few days after that. I'm extremely proud of her, but I'm also jealous and angry and discouraged about my situation in comparison to her's.

After getting my bachelor's degree six years ago, I've been working food service and retail jobs. About a year ago, I got an administrative assistant/receptionist job at a doctor's office. It's extremely stressful, as customer-facing jobs have always been to me, with the added bonus of a pandemic, with the added bonus of stagnation wages. I want to move further into an office administrative assistant role, and I've been applying my head off for those types of jobs.

I'm afraid I don't have the requisite experience and that I'm going to be doomed to the type of work I currently do forever. I'm afraid that my resume and cover letter suck. I want to break away so badly. I'm sick of making no money. I desperately need therapy and I just can't afford it. Every rejection email makes me feel more and more hopeless.

I don't want to do this job forever. I don't even want to do this job for another month. I know that the job hunt may take awhile, but I'm so afraid that I'll never find anything. And I don't want to do this job, customer service, retail, etc. forever.

I need to believe there's hope out there. Any advice to help me keep the faith would be great. I just needed to vent. Feel free to take this down if it violates any rules. Just wanted to shout out into the void. I'm sick of keeping it all inside.

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