I started working at a new company in September. I’ve been doing really well performance wise but it’s still weird to start remotely.
There are 7 other members of my team and they’re all guys - including another guy who started at the same time, who’s one of the only black men in our role as well. I am a 25 year old woman and our manager is also a woman.
My manager is probably the most extroverted person I’ve ever met - loves people, wants to be with them at all times, is somewhat COVID-safe in that she takes tests all the time but overall, probably not. She’s very sweet to me and bubbly but I haven’t yet met her in person. It does make me feel a little weird.
The guy who started on my same team at the same team was my work friend at first - we would rant to each other when things were hard and also talk about our wins and just generally get to know each other over video chat. The thing is, he’s been in another state during the pandemic, whereas i’ve been in the city where our team is based.
The other guy on my team started saying in November and December that he thought it was really weird that I hadn’t met my manager in person despite being in the same city. He acted like my manager is being mean to me or acting like she’s better than I am or doesn’t have the time. He was like “covid is just an excuse - there’s no real excuse to not meet up with you.” He even said he brought it up to her that she hadn’t met me. Now, I brought it up 3 separate times in 2020 that we should meet up in an outdoor / socially distanced setting and she was always like “yeah!” but 2/3 times she was out of town and the last one she had some other kind of excuse.
At the beginning of this week, my manager posted in our team group chat that we should all go out to a restaurant (outdoors) when everyone is in town. My coworker messaged me “better request that restaurant invite!!” which made me feel a little weird. I didn’t immediately respond and then he went “joke didn’t hit, huh?” and sent a frowny face and I then just said I had been distracted.
At the end of the week, the guy on my team who’s the new guy’s “mentor” said the new guy was actually coming to visit our city this weekend and they were going to hang out together. I felt weird because this guy has been my social distance “work friend” for months but hadn’t and still hasn’t mentioned it to me so I guess we’re not going to meet up. In the meeting where this was being announced, the mentor even invited another guy on the team to come (and not me) even though I still haven’t met these people in person.
I don’t know what to make of all this. Obviously, it doesn’t benefit me to take things too personally or even really think about them, but it does make me feel weird. Why does my manager always act like she’s over the moon about me and my performance but seems to do everything BUT meet me? Is the other guy on my team trying to get in my head or is he actually a concerned work friend who now feels awkward?? IDK. Also probably important to note is most of the people on my team have been working there for a little while and are actually close personal friends outside of work.
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