I’m on the verge of losing my job and feels like there’s nothing I can truly do to change that no matter how I perform. About a month ago my manager got in contact with me to tell he’s concerned about my job performance and that I haven’t created any process improvements in my position since I’ve been on the team, which has been about 3 years. This is not true as I’ve created many process improvements and other aspects, they’ve just gone unnoticed or ignored because he felt the space I was working in didn’t matter or no one cares (it’s a huge company and I was running an internal program that he didn’t care about but the company does). Since changing roles earlier this year I’ve struggled but he’s said over and over that I’m still learning, and the person before me (who now has my old role) had two years to truly grasp everything.
I’m now on some kind of HR list he’s put me on where if I try to go to another team it will automatically be blocked, which I learned when I was offered a role on another team but they couldn’t complete it because of the HR note. He alluded that he thinks I’m trying to run from my issue, but that’s not the case. My manager says it’s because we’re working on a project and I need to make it an incredible game changer of a project to allow for me to transfer and be off this HR list. This HR list is essentially a pre-PIP, and so far I was doing well on this project but he keeps adding things that I can’t do, which is all in a scripting program that I’m essentially learning on the fly at this point.
Some of the people I have to work with every day are so confrontational. When asking for assistance on certain things or help here and there, or maybe even clarification, they respond with such rudeness and condescension. All of that, and everything with my manager, has made me incredibly anxious and depressed. At this point I feel like I’ll be placed on a PIP any day now and be let go.
On a slightly brighter side I am awaiting an offer from my friend’s company. I interviewed for them and he says they’re preparing an offer. This was just a few days ago. I’m not going to celebrate until I actually have the offer, but it’s a positive in all this mess. I would wind up taking a pay cut and likely no OT like in my current role but that’s ok, I’d have less anxiety about work and have my time back during nights and weekends (because I practically work 24/7 now).
If I don’t get this job I don’t know what I’ll do. I’ve asked for clarification on what performance issues I apparently have but they aren’t giving me any information.
Does anyone have advice?
Edit to add that the other team’s manager that I was offered the role on has told me to hang in there, we’ll get through this. I just feel it’s impossible at this point. I feel completely disrespected and sad.
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