Using a throwaway but this is a serious question, and I'm looking to get some insight on what is really going on here. I'm a professional with about 20 years of experience in IT. I'm generally well-liked and considered proficient at my job and I have a fair amount of non-managerial responsibility.
What I've noticed happening now, and it's a pattern I've noticed in the past, is that my ego gets in the way of rational, objective thinking when dealing with complex interpersonal situations in the workplace. For instance, I work in a large multinational company, with large multinational corporate hierarchies, and the successful navigation of hard/soft skills is a constant source of challenge and opportunity. I'm working on a project with several groups who are notorious for using office politics to get their way. It only works for them to a point, which is why this project I'm working on is so sensitive. Their antipatterns of avoiding accountability, subbing out responsibility (but not control) to a person like me, poor communication skills have torpedoed other projects in the past. Not only will they not improve or recognize that the antipatterns exist or are their responsibility, they set up the project to assure that these antipatterns are part of the project's structure before I was even assigned.
So now that I'm in this situation, it's readily acknowledged that people in my positions are used as whipping boys, and that this is simply my turn. The advice is to 'be positive, act like a consultant, get everything in writing, find a way to influence the situation by planting seeds.' All great advice, but my ego is screaming at me all day "YOU HAVE TO GET REVENGE. THEY SUCK. YOU'RE TOO GOOD TO DO THIS."
I think my ego is trying to kill me.
I'm way too old to just pack up and leave - this is a long-standing aspect of corporate life that happens in every job I've ever been in. I know that my long-term goals of promotion, while not directly hinging on the outcome of this project, can be influenced by the same people running these antipatterns. I'd rather find a way to hack this, solve it, and learn to succeed in a dysfunctional environment, rather than looking for the ubiquitous 'workplace with no office politics.'
So, what to do? I'm googling and reading, and talking with my buddies about this. My only solution right now seems to be yelling at my ego (silently) like I'd yell at anyone else who was telling me a story like this. "Let it go, don't be stupid. This happens everywhere you go, stop whining!" I should also mention that my emotions are colored from being a formerly abused child who sometimes gets triggered and acts irrationally. I've been dealing with this for over 20 years now.
Have any of you been in this situation and found some effective ways to get past a moment like this? On Monday, I'm expecting my boss to get back from PTO and be like "I thought I told you this was sensitive. Why aren't you going along with the program?" I've been stressing about this since yesterday and if I don't figure it out, I'll be stewing on it for the rest of the weekend.
Words of advice, tough love welcomed.
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