Hi all, hope you’re well. I’m really struggling to accept what office culture is like at the moment and after three different jobs with the same experience, I’m starting to think there’s something wrong with me.
I can’t do office politics. I can’t do fakeness, or asslicking, or backstabbing others to get ahead. I’d rather be unsuccessful within my role then stoop to those kind of behaviours. However, the majority of colleagues around me seem to be fine with taking part in this strange culture. The people that I usually get along with end up leaving early, being disengaged from work or getting let go due to not fitting the system. It’s been a reoccurring theme within each of my jobs.
The problem is, it’s really starting to affect my mental health. My manager is highly competitive, rude, unnecessarily sarcastic all the time and a compulsive liar. My friend (let’s call him James) and I put two and two together recently and realised that she’s been lying about so many things for quite some time.
For example, a member of senior management was unnecessarily rude to me a couple of months ago (other colleagues witnessed this and said it was unacceptable) and after the incident, I went off to a small meeting room for 5/10 mins to compose myself and have a breather. James came in to see if I was okay and when I got back to my desk, my other colleague (let’s call him Luke) was being incredibly helpful and asking if I was okay.
Anyway, I forgot about this incident and also forgot that my manager wasn’t actually in the office that day.
This week, my manager brought up the incident whilst Luke was out of the office for the day and told me that Luke said to her that I was close to quitting the company on the spot and he was worried he’d be left in the lurch. She also said that she sent James to come and see if I was okay that day, as she knew James would be supportive, whilst Luke would just put his foot in it.
At the time of this conversation, I forgot that she wasn’t actually there that day and just kinda ignored her negativity. However, after speaking to James, he reminded me that she wasn’t even in the office that day?! I’m completely baffled by her unusual, lying behaviour.
Every new person that has joined the team this year (4 people), she has bullied them to the point of them being sacked or leaving (often in an emotional way). With each person, she has also tried to make out that they were out for my job and didn’t have my back. From knowing and talking to these people, I realise this is not the case at all.
My manager was obviously using this latest incident with me as an excuse to make me think badly of Luke. After mine and James’ recent realisation, we think she’s absolutely insane and I’m very wary of her now.
The problem is, I’ve had issues with these types of people everywhere I go and I just can’t seem to switch off from it or handle it. Friends say to ignore her, but this kind of work environments negatively affect my mental health. I’m looking at other jobs, but I’m not motivated to look as I’m scared it’ll be the same old story all over again. I wish I had more experience to go freelance.
Is it the same story anywhere? How can I learn to deal with it? Thanks for reading
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