Today I had a VERY uncomfortable interaction at what will definitely no longer be a job prospect. I work in a small professional field and I am beating myself up for how poorly everything went.
I did an in-person interview with the owner of a new company 2.5 months ago and when I followed up a month later I was told to stay in touch. I understood that they were looking at other candidates, no problem. 2 weeks ago the owner messages(text+social media)/calls me a few times within 24 hours on a weekend to get in touch as he is looking for someone to start in July. I call him back the same day and we do an impromptu interview on the phone. At the end, he tells me he is organizing the schedule to find a start day for a working probation period (norm in my industry). In the meantime, we set up a date, without a time, for me to go in to orientate myself with the workflow of the office (unpaid, also norm in industry). He told me to give him a reminder ahead of time (because he would forget cuz he's busy).
I don't hear back for 2 weeks about a start date, so yesterday I sent two messages (text/social media) to remind and confirm a time I should come in today to do the shadowing. The messages went unanswered. Today I called the front desk to ask if I should still come in, and was told to come in any time by reception. This is where I admit my emotions started to affect my judgement as I was already offended by his unprofessional lack of communication skills.
I get to the office, and the disagreement arose when I directly asked him for the reason I was there and if there is a job offer on the table, as there was no response on my being there today. I admit I was wrong when I did say there was no need for me to be there as I found it inappropriate to learn the ins and outs of their office if I was not a candidate. This is when he tells me that his understanding is that he thought I knew that there was no solid offer and he expects applicants to want to show up and shadow the office (as a pseudo interview) to show that they are excited candidates, and if this was not the case then I could leave. I explicitly state that I had set aside a work day (I keep a primary job that the new owner is aware of) to come in today to observe, and it was his lack of response to my messages that had me confused and concerned. He said that I did not have to set aside a full day I could've come in any time for however long, he had left that flexibility on me. Our industry runs VERY fast-paced and is busy, so he understandably didn't have time to speak to me almost at all today when I arrived (and that's why I wanted to confirm beforehand the time to come in in the first place!). Needless to say after such a massive breakdown in communication I will not be working there.
For reference in the future, were my questions about clarifying my position in the hiring process inappropriate and too confrontational considering I was already at the office? Should I be more flexible with the vague nature of the hiring process if I want to be a competitive candidate? When I pointed out why I was confused when I hadn't heard from him, he said I should be following up with him. I didn't even see a reason anymore to point out he didn't respond. My situation may be a little industry specific. Advice/criticisms on if I need to change my expectations or misconceptions is welcome, as I do not want to develop bad practices early in my career. (I don't wanna be egotistical like Rory from Gilmore Girls reboot lol, but I want to maintain mutual respect as professionals).
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