I graduated in May and just started by job search lately, and this is my first time being asked for references before the interview. In my Junior year, I volunteered at a lab which I learned a lot of important skills from, however I'm hesitant to ask for reference from the PI. The situation was, at the end of my junior year (around May 2020), that was when COVID hit, and the lab was shut down for a bit. After fall semester of senior year started in January 2021, the PI reached out asking whether I'd be coming in, and I told him I wasn't comfortable going in and I'd like to wait until the vaccine is out, which he agreed. I also had an extremely tough semester due to heavy upper level classes and excessive isolation, which made it really difficult to keep up with grades. The thing is, I was taking the one class my PI was teaching, and I ALMOST FAILED IT. I felt really ashamed at the time, because I volunteered at his lab, and out of all people I shouldn't have gotten such a terrible grade. The last time we communicated was when he reached out saying that he noticed I was struggling in his class. I continued to struggle with school and mental health, so I gradually dropped the lab, and I did not go in the spring semester either, even though I'm sure most things are back to normal.
This lab is my most recent experience and the most relevant one to the jobs I'm applying for as well. I understand it was my fault that I didn't end on good terms with the PI, and I can't blame anything for that. The employer will probably think it's weird that I didn't list ANYONE from that lab as a reference, even though it's the most recent and relevant. Should I still reach out? Or avoid them because they probably won't give me a glowing review anyways.
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