I got my first real full time job back in August. I like it and really like my coworkers. I guess mostly I'm a receptionist/administrative assistant, but will do other tasks here and there.
But I feel like I'm not a good fit anywhere, if that makes sense. I have a learning disability (visual processing disorder) and have always taken longer to learn things. I never tell people because it is a major insecurity of mine. I don't think people can really tell for the most part but there are definitely times where it comes out. For example, my motor skills aren't the best because of it and I'm not a super fast typer or anything. I know it definitely makes my boss raise an eyebrow at times. I've never been told my productivity is down or I'm too slow with tasks.
Since I work with phones a lot, I can't hold a side conversation with a co-worker while speaking to a customer. (Co-workers will pop up a lot and try to talk when my headset is on). Yet, somehow everyone else is able to do it?
The WORST thing that gets me is reading something while talking to a customer. I had a small slip up when asking what city a customer is in (while my eyes were somewhere else on my computer screen) and everyone around me started laughing at me.
I have a horrible feeling my co-workers think I'm stupid. I always play it off as "its the end of the day, my eyes are tired" etc.
I know these issues won't go away if I just get a different job. So of course I'm gonna stick with it. But since these issues will follow no matter what, I feel like I'll never be a perfect fit to any job.
I've had my 3 month review and got very positive feed back and was told they like having me here. But I guess it's the comparison to my other co-workers who don't have issues with this that gets to me.
Sorry if this is all over the place or doesn't make sense. I just feel sad, embarrassed, angry and overwhelmed.
I don't think I will ever be more than an office assistant.
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