I worked in an underwriting division for a year and I loved it. The job wasn't my dream but I was very well trained, had great people around me and I could do it with ease. I was basically made redundant from that role, and was told there was a different team in the same company I could move to on a 6 month contract. I accepted and genuinely had high hopes for this new role It was a lot more technical than was sold to me, and my boss was based in a different office a 3 hour or so drive away from me. She initially wanted me to work in that office full time - I said I could not practically do that, as it would be a 5-6 hour commute a day, would cost hundreds a month and wear my car out, and I was not prepared to relocate for the sake of 6 months. I explained that the contract I signed clearly states I will be staying in my current office, which is what I agreed to and signed the contact on that basis. She wasn't happy but ultimately that is where I stood and as my contract says so there was not much she could do. My understanding was that she agreed to take me on her team which full knowledge I would be staying where I was. I did say I was prepared to travel for a bit for training though. She provided me with half a days training in person in an office that was inbetween both of us - then I was told to go back to my home office and get on with the work. I struggled and kept asking for help for all the cases from her and other colleagues, and I kept asking for more training. Every single time I asked for training she had an excuse to why she couldn't or didn't have time. Eventually she gave me another half day. When I was in my normal office the next day she kept sending me these messages saying how we are under so much pressure and the progress has been very slow and the impact was not what we expected. She asked me what other jobs/tasks I had been doing as she didn't seem to understand why the job was taking me so long. There was also another financial guy from a different team who sends up weekly updates to our team, basically naming and shaming me for bringing the department down and not working to the high standard they expected. My boss also has told me she doesn't have time to do any of her other tasks as she is constantly "marking" what I am doing. This has all just really stressed me out and completely ruining my mental health, as I feel like at any moment they are going to pull me into a room and terminate my contract. I feel so disheartened as I feel I have tried my hardest to learn and take on board the little I have learned from her/my colleagues, but it doesn't work to train me over email, and I feel this job is just above my skill set. I feel bullied by these emails that go out to the whole team outlining how poorly I am doing, I feel she has not fulfilled her duties as a manager to provide adequate training despite me constantly asking, and I am letting the whole department down. I've been in tears twice and I just don't know what to do. Part of me wants to stick it out and try to do my best, but there's a voice in my head saying a job shouldn't make you so unhappy. I can't seem to switch off when I'm home either, which is causing a big impact on my social life - I haven't been going to the gym or seeing my friends which I love to do because I just feel so depressed. I also feel if I'm likely to be fired why stick it out? Should I quit? Am I being unfairly treated? Is this my fault for refusing to relocate? A friend has suggested I go to HR but I'm reluctant to do that as that can have big consequences. I just don't know what to do.
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