Hi,
I just recently graduated with a 5yr degree in Management & Info systems, and am in probably one of the best positions I can be post graduation. I was offered a role as a product owner at a growing software development firm(100 employees). They knew off of my interviews that I was just finishing up school and that I did have some experience under my belt, but that I dont have a super technical background and still need room to grow. I really like the work that I do and the pay is phenomenal in terms of what I expected post graduation(58k)
My biggest issue however, is that we are working remotely and its becoming increasingly difficult to really engage, adapt, and learn everything I need to feel like im succeeding in the role. I feel like Im falling behind in where I should be, and its sooooooo difficult to make friends when all you have is zoom and slack... I've only been here for 4 months, but I feel like I sometimes have no idea whats going on around me. When my coworkers talk about tickets new or old I feel like Im listening to another language being spoken.
Its even harder asking questions, I try and write down as much as I can when I think of one but I know that If we were in person I'd be up their ass constantly asking follow-ups. Being forced to do it over slack makes me so nervous, I feel like every time I ask something I consider a dumb question Im being silently judged. I have no idea what people think of me either.. which does not help.
I have weekly meetings with my manager, shes very nice and very very helpful/patient. I try not to ask too often of how Im doing, but it feels like its impossible to even measure my performance when Im constantly working alone. She says im doing good, but every time I think about work I feel nauseous and feel like I need to give up before I get fired.
Today I felt so anxious I barely got any work done..im worried im slowly self sabotaging myself before I even get a foothold.
Is there any way I can express these concerns to my manager without coming off as whiny/being a bitch? Every day I think about quitting but I dont want to be a quitter :(
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