So, just as a base here. I work for a company that usually only has 4 people total (CEO, supervisor, and two employees.) The CEO and supervisor don’t even live/work in the same state. We do auto billing for a hospital.
I started last year in September/October and by the end of the year I already hated the job. I was constantly being told by my coworker all the small mistakes I was making (even though I wouldn’t be at work and we only worked one day together every week). My coworker told me she was looking for a new job when I said I was because she was burnt out and was tired of being told off by our supervisor. I had actually started applying for jobs in FEB/March when everything with COVID happened. So obviously, everything kinda went to heck in a hand basket because I had applied to a lot of retail style jobs.
Well, about a month ago my coworker officially quit. She worked a month’s notice. During that time I got to take over all of her duties when I was hardly able to do everything I was supposed to before. I have been slammed. Like, the sheer amount of work has been insane. One person cannot do the amount of work that is here. And I’m the only person making money for the company too, so there is so much pressure. I would come to the office and just cry while I worked because there wasn’t enough time to sit and cry. Every second of the day is precious, and i would work late, sometimes through lunch, and still couldn’t make a dent in the work.
I don’t know if I’m just not good at this type of work, or if it’s my lack of training and being thrown into a crap ton of duties, but I am literally drowning. I hate everything. I get calls daily telling me what I’m doing wrong or that I’m focusing on the wrong things. This weekend I had to have a training to tell me how to...I’m not even sure...pick what to do during the day?! But it changes every day. My boss decides that one thing is important and then the next day asks why I didn’t do the thing she told me not to do. The “training” left me feeling even worse because it basically was like “don’t get distracted” but distractions aren’t the problem! I’m working every second of the day aside from lunch and bathroom, literally stressing myself to death. I cry at home because I feel like I can’t get it done, and I’m failing so badly. I’ve never felt this way about a job before in my life.
I REALLY want to quit. But we just hired a new person and got her into training this past weekend. We’ve also simultaneously started working in a new system. So, that’s going...not well to put it lightly. I really really want to leave, but I know my CEO and supervisor because they visit and take us to eat and I was involved in hiring. I know they’ve been stressing because they have been making this new program and hiring and dealing with the unexpected loss of their (good) employee. But my mental health has really taken the L through all of this. Right now I’m working semi normal hours, but my office has no windows and I don’t talk to anyone all day. I am struggling with the work (not that it’s difficult!) because of the sheer amount, and I guess that I’m slow/over think it? I don’t really know because I’ve never had this sort of problem.
Anyway, I just want to know how you all would deal with this kind of situation. I’m tired of getting told to do my job like I don’t know how. I’m tired of it being assumed that I don’t understand, when I do, I just can’t physically get it done.
Help!!
TLDR: I want to quit my job, but I am the only person that knows how to do the job well enough to keep things afloat, but even I am not doing well at it. How would you deal with the situation?
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