I got my first job last month as a Project Coordinator in a small company. My job is to assist my boss with various projects that the company gets from clients. Its a very small family owned company and most people working there are brothers and sisters, including my boss. I like the job and the people are nice, salary is amazing and I really want to keep the job but ever since I started working there I have been expected to just know everything beforehand. My resume is pretty impressive and I liked this job because it is a very diverse role that requires me to use the different skills that I have but the only problem I am having is that nobody is that my boss says I don't remember things.
Coming directly from being a student I am realizing now that everything was explained to us and questions were welcome. My boss is nice but she really gets mad if I ask questions, apparently my questions are stupid. And then she throws a bunch of information at me and expects me to remember all of it and gets mad if I don't. The second day on the job I had a full blown panic attack. I have never had a panic attack in my life. I have somewhat got a grasp on barely keeping up with the information she throws at me. I really really want to do good at my job but I really can't remember every single thing she says and she goes too fast for me to keep up, i'm struggling to take notes. Today she burst into my office asking me to get some information about a scientific journal the name of which she ratted out really fast and then got upset when I asked her to repeat the name of the journal. There are thousands of journals with similar sounding names. Is is so bad that I ask her to repeat things like this. At this point she tells me that I oversold myself in the interview and this is a recurring problem that I have to make her repeat herself.
I am literally crushed. I feel like shit because I can't do a good job. I have always done good in school and was super active on campus, I have two masters degrees for gods sake it's not like a complete dumb dumb but I feel like that at work. Its really doing a number on me. I'm not even going to mention all the conflicting "guidance" I am given. To be honest I really don't know how to listen better and I really don't know how to make things better.
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