Dear Recruiter, what?

I keep getting contacted by recruiters out of the blue, which wouldn't be quite a problem except for some reason they're looking for somebody who has things I clearly indicate in my resume that I don't have. I mean, my profiles on job search and networking sites are accurate and I'm not hiding away any experience aside from bits of volunteering which wouldn't have anything to do with the field I actually work in.

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Any recruiters here know what is going on, and how to make it clear that I'm not interested in being cold called (or cold emailed or cold messaged, and yes I've gotten all three) about an opening that they're not seriously considering putting me forward for as a candidate?

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