Conflicted

I have the option to leave my current job, that I’ve been at for 3 months, for my old one that I’d been at for a year. I came to my current job because I wanted to see if teaching was something that I’d love to do. I’m currently a teacher assistant. At my old job I was working for a school psychologist and I made over twice what I’m making today. I made $25hr, some days of the week I’d make $50hr, and right now I’m at $10hr.

I keep getting asked if I’d ever go back, and my former coworker calls me to tell me that I’m needed. I left that job bc I didn’t have the great health insurance that I have today. Which, now I know that my former employer could reimburse me for my insurance expenses. Another huge reason I left was bc of sexual harassment which I was told that I could talk to them about to make sure it doesn’t happen again. But what if things go back to square one?

I’m in desperate need of money and what I’m making right now doesn’t cut it. I barely make enough to cover my expenses. I went from making about $2000 to a little over $500 a paycheck. I’m tempted to go back but I feel so bad if I leave this job if it’s only been 3 months and the kids are in huge needs of being serviced. I’m a big help to the staff there. But I feel like I stress even more each time I get paid and I question if putting their needs before mine is worth it. Especially with Covid being so tough on financial situations. I’m conflicted because I feel major guilt. And, though I’m 22, my dad is gonna be pissed if he finds out that I’m thinking about going back to the place where I experienced sexual harassment. The staff there was great to me, I love them all, I enjoyed my job, but he doesn’t get past the harassment and I understand. I’m scared to confront him (still live with my parents) even though my mom has been supportive of me. I tell her about my guilt and she says “how many people have the opportunity to jump back to a well paying job during this pandemic?” And it’s true. Not many. Again I’m conflicted because I feel bad I’d be leaving my current kids and the staff who’s been so helpful and has always made sure to let me know that I’m greatly appreciated.

I’m not sure what to do. I mean I think I know what I want to do but I hate caring so much about disappointing others/letting them down. Of course money isn’t everything but sometimes, it really is and right now is one of those times.

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