Sacrifycing my mental health to keep my employer/friend happy?

Ugh.

I need advice. I(24f) am a caretaker for a one year old boy. I've been watching him for the last year with the exception of a covid pause earlier this year. During this time, I have become really close with his parents. His mom works from home, so we have been able to bond while I'm on the job. Overtime, we became friends. A little over a month ago, they asked me to watch both kids (he has an older brother), and though it was hard for me to let them down, I told them I didn't have it in me to watch both kids full time. I thought I'd lose my job, but they were so keen on keeping me, that they put the older one in daycare and made a contract for me to just watch the younger one. They asked me to firmly commit to working through the end of this calendar year, so they could focus on their lives and not have to worry about finding childcare during covid times. Also I'm probably way cheaper. Makes sense. In my eyes, I was like hell yeah! I love this job; I love this city; I love my partner. Let's do this. I even told them "yes I can commit, no matter what happens in my personal life, I can commit." Stupid, I know. I'll never make a statement like that again.

Then life happened. My 3 year relationship ended, and I'm suddenly broken-hearted and looking for housing. Since my breakup happened, all I've wanted is to move to the city where my best friends are and start my career. (Figure out who I am, what I want, all those things) Of course all of my friends were like "yes girl! come out here!" So naturally, I found housing in the city, and my lease starts October 1st. My plan was just to commute through the end of the year and start a new job in the city in January. The commute is 1.5hours each way. lol. I would drive all of it as well (no metro) I'm living with my ex until I move and though things are amicable, I need to leave this town. I am so sad. It is so hard to do this break up and not be near the people I love. add working full time at a low wage+ 3 hours of commuting each day.

My dilemma: I want to start my job hunt and then put in my two weeks as soon as I land something, but I am a people pleaser. I so badly don't want this family to be screwed. They aren't rich. Finding childcare seems like a mess during this time? I already flaked on them a month ago by not watching both kids. I just feel bad. The contract I signed with them, says that I have the freedom to leave with a 2 weeks notice, but the text they sent before sending the contract asked for a 'FIRM commitment' so they could have "peace of mind through the end of the year." Help me!! Is it okay to be selfish here? I feel like I'm going to fall apart if I have to commute/try to heal from this breakup for the rest of the year. What do y'all think?

Last thing: you may ask, why didn't you find housing in the city where you work? I knew my next step was to move to the larger city in January, and it was impossible/irritating to find safe housing for just the next 3 months here. Also I didn't want to move that many times. reasons.

TL;DR I am a nanny for my friend. Just went through an unexpected breakup and secured amazing housing 1.5 hours away. Do I finish out my contract through December and potentially mess up my mental health, or do I attempt to secure a job and put in my two weeks (legally) and leave them to figure out childcare?

edit: so sorry for my spelling in the title

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Sacrifycing my mental health to keep my employer/friend happy? Sacrifycing my mental health to keep my employer/friend happy? Reviewed by Louhi on septembre 06, 2020 Rating: 5

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