recently started a new job (about a month ago), it’s my first ever ‘corporate’ job as before I’d only worked in retail so has felt like a big change for me
(If it’s of any relevance I work in marketing)
In my previous retail job, I worked in the stockroom and my manager/colleagues would tell me exactly what to do (which I preferred... I really don’t mind repetitive boring tasks as long as they tell me what to do! Unpredictability really stresses me out)
Now since starting I’ve been shown how to use all the relevant software for my role, but there are plenty of days where I go in to work with nothing to do! For example, today I get to work, brief greeting to the rest of my team, only to find no emails and my manager has not asked a thing of me. So I spend most of the day trying to look busy, when really I’m dying in the inside, I feel so stupid and worthless. Now as this happened quite many times, I had previously braved going up to my manager and asking “Hi _ sorry to bother you, I was just wondering if there was anything you’d like me to work on for you as I don’t have much going on atm” at the time, I feel like my manager almost made up the vague task just so it could occupy me, I really didn’t feel like it was necessary but at least I was told what to do (it involved going through the company’s website and thinking of improvements... I wrote a report but he never mentioned it again)
I should also confess I have a history of severe social anxiety. I’m not sure what the correct work etiquette is when you have nothing to do - don’t want to annoy/bother my manager as he is more senior and seems to be busy a lot. Plus I had applied to a lot of jobs before being offered this one, and I remember when doing those online situational based judgement application tests I got the feeling many companies didn’t seem to like it if you kept rushing off to your manager for every inconvenience
I have obviously been ordered to complete some work tasks since starting, but they have always been extremely simple e.g. updating products/info on the company website and sending work for approval.
I guess there’s nothing wrong with having simple tasks but when you’re only given one, or if really lucky two for the whole day - which I could likely finish in under an hour, I feel so awkward. It seems everyone around has ‘stuff’ to do but I don’t, I don’t know why they bothered hiring me tbh. I always take my time with these simple tasks because I know I won’t have anything else to do for a while. It sounds ridiculous but pretending to work is honestly more exhausting than actually having to work in my experience
Back in my retail days, I’d always have something to do for the whole day, and it made sense why I was there.
The pay is better than my previous job, but the anxiety I get every morning, plus how worthless I feel makes me question if it’s really worth it
On my first week, I would be at my desk 20 minutes early, full of smiles, trying my best to make a good impression Now I arrive 5 minutes before my official start time, and I’ll take out things one by one from my bag to place on my desk to waste a few extra minutes. I think that shows how desperate I truly am to pass the time
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