TL;DR: Need short, friendly, informal, and truthful way to say no to job offer from former boss without giving concrete reasons.
I took a job last year and had to leave it after only 6 months due to a death in my immediate family and related family-care issues on the other side of the country that required several back and forth travel and a lot of uncertainty about when I might be able to return.
While there were elements of the job that I really loved (the working environment, my co-workers, the customers, etc), the boss rubbed me the wrong way about 75% of the time. We didn't really see eye-to-eye on some aspects of the work so I found myself compromising my values and building up work habits that I knew were not in my best interests in terms of being good at this work in the long run.
It's a very small company and my boss was quite unhappy I was leaving (hiring for this type of work has been rough where I live over the last few years) and even insinuated that the family medical issues were somehow manufactured so I could take another job. This was hard to take, especially given the stress I was under from my family to get across the country ASAP, as well as the career and $ stress I thought I was facing given I was leaving this job without a real plan for the future.
Anyway, after the pretty awful way the job ended, and lots of family stress over several months, I decided that once I was back home and things were more settled, that I would start my own business and that there was no way I would ever go back to work for my old boss. The way I was treated during the saddest and most stressful time of my life pretty much erased any trust I had and accelerated my plans for starting my own gig by a few years.
I'm just at the beginning of setting up the biz (no customers yet) and the old boss just sent me an email asking if I'd come back to work part-time. I saw former co-workers socially a few weeks ago and I guess they told him I was back and not working. In case it matters: I have really good support from my SO and basically I can take however much time I need in order to get my biz going. There's currently not much $ strain and the business will have very low overhead, so I don't need work as an employee for the foreseeable future money-wise.
I'd like to very gracefully tell him no, but not sure how. It needs to be kind of informal language (no "respectfully decline" type language) because I worked with him for months and he is pretty casual with that sort of thing. I'd also like to figure out a way to be honest, but also not tell him I'm starting my own thing. While technically it is the same type of business, there are enough important differences that my work won't compete with his business at all. Very little overlap, anyway. Regardless, knowing him, he will be irritated that I want to start my own thing, not supportive, and will tell me all the reasons I shouldn't do it, which is the last thing I want right now and I don't want this to turn into a back-and-forth. Plus, even though I'm in a biggish city, the community in this profession is kind of small and I don't love the idea of him talking crap about me to others in our line of work.
So how do I give a firm no in a friendly and honest way without really giving him any reasons??
Thanks!
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