I am a female engineer working in a high scale fast growing company, (I am the only female in my team).
Basically one of the engineers that i have onboarded my self into the team and also that i considered a friend. has changed a lot lately, first of; its really hard for me lately to write any code, the other engineers jump on all the coding opportunities and i find my self -many times- lost and not knowing what should i focus on . part of this is also caused by the fact that we do not share any boards for the work that we are currently doing which makes contributing hard .
So the person i wanna share this about have been involved in all the projects, he has his own ways to hoard the work.
at first, he was very openly sharing knowledge if we would to pair. But also i am feeling like he only like it on his own terms as fast as i suggest breaking the big tasks into small ones and divide them to be more productive he pulls away .
Lately he along with an other have been working on a very important project where they had zero documentation about, impossible to contribute since there are no tickets and also acknowledging the lack of documentation but not owning up to it or doing anything about it .
in addition , he would ask me to elaborate on any task i am doing, if he sense that it involves coding or working on something important he states that we should pair all of us on it . And starts suggesting mob-programming because he is interested to learn ( but how many things are you interested to learn and be involved in at the same time) .
The feeling i get is that he just want to take the opportunity of building the things as long as it makes him the most important person in the team .
I really have nothing against pair programming or mob-programming but does people from the team really need to know in details every task i am doing when they are not being inclusive about their own tasks .
I am sharing this information here hoping to get perspectives and feedback not only about my colleagues behaviour but also about mine . I would like to better my self if thats whats required in this situation or getting ideas to dealing with this if it makes sense.
PS: I have given this person feedback about almost the same thing. and he was very receivable of my feedback.
But also shared that he knows he has problems trying to prove him self in many ways (maybe thats a factor ?)
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