A certain co-worker whom I have had virtually no interactions with previous to this most recent project has on 2 separate occasions accused me of ulterior motives and such which include:
- When I raised certain concerns about the ability to integrate a new technology (that was only released in the last 6 months) into multiple projects that all currently have different build library dependencies and asked about a compromise solution that has been brought up before, I was told that I need to show more respect to the time that was put in to the current proposed solution and that they felt they were only hearing excuses for not wanting to use a new technology (note that I am not the only one to raise these questions before this happened).
- When a discussion about this technology was held with a wider group of people that are involved in projects that would be incorporating this new technology at some point (some relatively soon and other a bit later), another person brought up the issue about the build library dependencies (and other issues) and suggested the same compromise solution I did in the previous meeting and I made mention of a task that we had planned for testing that possible issue (this was the outcome of the previous mentioned meeting). Just me bring this up made the same person from the previous meeting tell me that it was an inappropriate setting to bring this up (which I though was odd as that task directly relates to the question that was asked) and that he feared that what I am doing is trying to spread unfair fear and doubt about this technology (other people have brought up other / similar concerns but maybe this person thinks they are only doing that because of me or something).
If people want to disagree with my opinions or even concerns that I had, I have no problem with that, I am not a stranger to being in the minority when it comes to certain opinions on how to proceed with things but the outcomes of these disagreements are always based on data in some form and not accusing other people of lying or making things up to get their way. What I have virtually zero tolerance for is some telling me I mean something other than what I am saying. If I thought a piece of technology should not be used, I would say exact that with whatever reasons I have for thinking that way.
Right now I really don't want to work with this other person at all as I think this kind of hostile work interaction is completely avoidable and counter-productive to the work we are trying to do (I have only deal with this kind of situation, though not directly, once in my 13+ years as a software engineer) and adding this kind of unnecessary stress in addition to the stress that is inherit with the job is just not worth it for me but because of the dynamics of the teams, I think future interactions are unavoidable. The only thing I can think of is agreeing to work on projects with this person but just holding any feedback I might have as to decisions on how to move forward on those project to myself to avoid derailing any project because of something that might not even be related to the project itself and just doing what tasks are given to me.
How would you handle this situation?
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