How to bullshit a resume

I can’t keep a job to save my life because the lack of pay or the mundane environment ends up making me walk off. I’ve had about 40 jobs on and off in the last 6 years, ranging from fast food, security and corrections. I’ve been out of work since April and I need advice on how to bullshit a resume so I can get into a job and be an adult and keep it for once.

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